The Letters of H. P. Blavatsky to A. P. Sinnett
Theosophical University Press Online Edition

Letter No. 49

{Wurzburg, Oct. 21}

Wednesday.

MY DEAR MR. SINNETT,

De mieux en mieux! Enclose you Olcott's letter with a copy of L. Fox's [See pages 324-5. — ED.] — whom may his "Karma" bury under its ruins! It is Hume's inventions. "Sell" my Theosophist? Why not sell myself and Society at once, if we have become such a saleable article. I immediately telegraphed — "I absolutely refuse to sell Theosophist — to Adyar and spent forthwith the famous 3 16s., or nearly so. And now I mean to fight tooth and nail and I adjure you by Master's name to help me with good articles from time to time for my poor journal — the child of my heart. Hume being now in London is sure to intrigue and plot with some of the London Lodge — with Mrs. Kingsford with whom he's in passionate correspondence being in love with, without having seen her; with our friend Mrs. C. O. who is under obligation to him for her passage money here; with this one, that one, and the other. I do think it would be more diplomatic in you and better policy to see him, if he can. But then he said he "despised you for your credulity" — at Adyar. Well the cloud is very black on that part of the horizon where he is — for he is unscrupulous, bargains very cheap for a lie when it suits his purposes and he is a good deal of a Jesuit — when needed. Our Karma — save us!

Got Mrs. Sinnett's letter from the 12th saying I had not written to her. Why, I sent an enormous letter to her and you, a joint one, after receiving stamps and your books, and one for you. Now I am very anxious to know whether Mrs. Sinnett received that letter of mine in a large blue envelope about secret matters. Please let me know by return of post. I would not have it lost for the world.

Poor Padshah! All his efforts, struggles, his sacred vows — all, all gone because his fifth principle is so developed and drags him to Cambridge, while his sixth is dormant, half blind and is unable to FEEL the Master. Poor Boy! why can't people separate wretched me from the Masters, why not despise, spurn me, spew me out from their mouth but remain true and loyal to TRUTH incarnate. I do feel sad for those who are good and yet fall off.

I have sent you francs 20 — 10 Tedesco gave me — the other 10 for Five Years of Theosophy which please ask Mohini to buy and send me, as Hartman took away his bound (five vol.) of Theosophist and I am verily theosophiless now.

Well, to end, I had a pretty attack of palpitation of the heart which nearly carried me away the other night — the karma of talking for a week with six or seven people visiting me from morn to night. Hubbe Schleiden brought the doctor at midnight and by morphine and digitalis, hook and crook, the terrible knockings of the heart which seemed to have gone mad were stopped. But I am happy to say there is an enormous enlargement (or expansion?) of the heart which must, and shall carry me away.

In this sweet hope,
Ever yours,
H. P. B.


Letter 50

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