The Letters of H. P. Blavatsky to A. P. Sinnett
Theosophical University Press Online Edition

Letter No. 93

{Wurzburg, May 10; H. P. B. had broken her long journey form Wurzburg to Ostende at Elberfeld. There a crippling rheumatism and sciatica detained her until nearly July when, with the devoted help of the Gebhard family, she was moved to Ostende. A. P. S. soon visited her there and found her once more hard at work on The Secret Doctrine.

DEAR MR. SINNETT,

I have the most infernal letter from Olcott, new dirt and accusations, read it. I have never written one word about Mrs. O. to either de Morsier or Soloviof. But Bowajee has to you and others (though nothing of this kind) and Mary Flynn talked as wildly as she could at St. Cergues to both. This is why I sent her away frightened at her absurdities. Now see the situation. Read the Olcott letter carefully and see that I am also accused in it of having written the French words Soloviof invented about me in a letter to Mdme. de M. I write to Miss A. a letter you will please read and then send to her sealed. Read my letter to Mrs. Oakley and if on page 3 where I speak about Soloviof's illegitimate wife are libellous, however true, please erase them as I have erased three lines before in which I say he seduced his present mistress when a child of 16 years old. I must ask one favour from you and Mrs. Sinnett, and this is to give to Mrs. O. the letter yourself (Mrs. S. would perhaps do better) and explain to her that I have said nothing of the kind. In my letter to Miss A. you will find what I say.

It is ruin to the Theosophist as Olcott says and to the Society if Oakley leaves Adyar. Why should I be made to suffer for what Bowajee wrote and repeated for months. He cannot deny it, and unless he amends I swear I deliver him into the hands of Mrs. O. because I have heaps of copies of all his letters to various persons in which he slanders her, if slandering it is. Though he has never said anything like S. and Mdme. de M. now invent, you know what he wrote to you. Mary Flynn is irresponsible. So unless this business is disposed of and Miss O. made to see that she has again listened to slanders and lies, then we may expect the crash of the whole T. S. even at Adyar. It looks very threatening as you will see in Olcott's letter. The fool believes I said all this. Oh, when will I be delivered of all this faint hearted, credulous lot! What shall I do. Memoirs? Of course I threatened S. with my true memoirs. When a man slanders me as he does why shouldn't I say to him "Well if you force me, I will write the whole truth and spare neither myself nor you, who do worse things than I was ever accused of. I did tell him so — and told him that if people did not leave me quiet that I would end by publishing a gigantic LIE; that I had indeed invented the Masters and written all myself, and do it as a last resource to shield Their names from desecration. And so I have written to you and I ought to have done so five years or three years ago at least, if I had not been a fool. I need say no more. My two letters to Miss A. and Mrs. O. explain the whole thing. I make one more attempt. If I am not believed this once, well I tell you, I will resort to a desperate action and burn myself with the whole Society. I cannot bear it any longer. I wish you would write to Olcott and explain to him. I am going to Ostende on the 10th or 12th and then I will see. I will not go back to India before all is settled. Read carefully my letter to Miss A. and see what I say at the end. Either submission from B. or — I kick all.

Yours,
H. P. B.


Letter 94

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