The Letters of H. P. Blavatsky to A. P. Sinnett
Theosophical University Press Online Edition

Letter No. 97

OSTENDE,
Aug 23.

MY DEAR MR. SINNETT,

I have asked once already please to remember, in my sweetest tones "give me the bread;" or, transliterated occultly Don't put "Memoirs." And to this I had a plain refusal.

Therefore, to your complaint that the thing might have been left to your "professional judgment of a literary man," I can only say what one would say to a physiologist, who would feel surprised at a man on whom he was operating and who declined to be operated upon, to hear him shout out "Please don't!". "You may be and certainly are an excellent physiologist and an operator; but as you can not feel or understand what I feel — you better stop before you kill me."

Now the book coming out under the title of Memoirs would surely kill and finish me — morally.

(1) My aunt Mme. Witte swore before the image of some St. Flapdoodle that she would curse me on her death-bed if I permitted any Memoirs to be published, so long as all my relatives are yet living; and

(2) Even this work with the Memoirs eliminated — will bring a new shower of volcanic mud and ashes on my doomed head. This I KNOW and you will find it so. In some things I can neither be mistaken nor fail to see right. However I risk it provided it is no Memoirs and I, personally, have nothing to do with it.

Mohini and Arthur Gebhard are here and stop with me studying "Bhagavad Gita" all the day. Von Bergens are both here — living in a room at some distant quarters, and boring the life out of me! Mohini declines to go to America where there is a terrible row and war between Coues and Mrs. Waters.

The "weeping" Chanoinesse, your Initiate, has lost the 1st Vol. of my Theosophist, and now bombards me with letters each of which is underpaid and costs me 50 cents — imploring me "at my feet" to forgive her — kissing my hands which does not help her to be forgiven and bothering me with her gush and rot. Mohini never said to Bergen anything of the kind about myself or Masters. Bergen has confessed that he misunderstood him; and then accused Arthur of having told him about me the same!!

Mohini is just the same I find; only he is raised one step higher. And now he will never speak openly about the Masters. He is very much against Bowaji, who is creating mischief at a yard to every square inch.

Lane Fox wants to come and see me and (please keep it confidential) Mrs. ANNA KINGSFORD!! Wants to come and see me and asks me now at least to place her in communication with the Masters!!!!!!

I feel unable to do justice to my feelings! Love to Mrs. S.

Yours truly,
H. P. B.


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