THE HOUSE I LIVE IN
The house I live in is not very much of a house. It is old, very dilapidated, and sadly in need of repairs. Nevertheless, it is the best house I ever lived in. Perhaps it would be well to begin by telling you something about some of the houses I lived in long before I occupied this house that I live in today.
When I first began to understand that I must have a habitation and a name, I found that I must build my house myself, and the first thought that came to me in regard to the plan was this: "I shall have a straight, high roof and broad windows wide apart."
Well, when I thought I was ready to build, I found there were several others whom I would have to consult in regard to the plan of my house. These others were somehow connected with me in such a way that they could not be got rid of. Indeed, I found later on that they were intended to be my servants — they were certainly "Hangers on" and I had to consult them. I know now, it was my own fault that I had to consult them, but I did not know it then, and as they were many and very strong, they made me believe they had the right, and to save trouble I consented.
So the house was begun and finished before I realized that I had very little to do with the plan of it. I was very much disappointed when I found the roof so low and so slanting that there was very little room for the wide windows I had hoped to have. They were what the builders called windows, but they were so narrow that they were merely slits, and so close together that they almost touched each other.
Looking back to that far-away time and remembering that house and those poor, little, narrow windows, makes me shiver even now. We had shutters over them, but the shutters drooped in such a way as to nearly cover them all the time, just as if they were ashamed of the windows they were expected to screen and tried to cover them up.
But the house was finished and we moved in. We were seven of a family all told — master and servants. But as the master had been overpowered in planning his house and building it by those who were inferior to him, he now found they were determined to continue to hold him in subjection. These inferiors were indeed the masters, and he seemed to be powerless to assert his rights, and was obliged to submit.
It was very foolish of him, I own, but when you understand how he was placed you will be willing to admit that he could not very well have done otherwise. When he got fairly settled in his new house he found he would have to live right in with his servants, for there was no nice, light room he could call parlor. The roof slanted too much to allow of such a room, and even if there had been a room under the roof, the windows were of no account for lighting such a room as he had in his mind. So he settled down to live as best he could. It was settling down indeed, for the house was mostly under ground, having been planned and built without any reference to his needs or comfort.
He was a social sort of a fellow and liked company and as these dependents of his were lively and gay, he soon forgot in their company to long for a better house. They had gotten the upper hand of him and they kept it. They led him where they pleased and their pleasure was from one folly to another, from one wickedness to another. Sometimes, indeed, many times, he would pause and consider, and there would come to his mind a thought that he was very foolish to be led thus from folly to folly — that he ought to turn over a new leaf and lead a better and purer life.
Then he remembered he had no place to go to get away from these whom he ought to subdue, and he would be very sad and sorrowful and say to himself: "Oh, if only I had not been so weak as to allow these base creatures to control me when I had such a nice plan to build my house. If only I could have carried out the plan I would have had a nice upper room, well lighted, where I could sometimes retire and be at peace."
Then coming under the influence of those lower creatures, he would fall once more from his high and noble aspirations, and in their company would return again to the indulgence of all sorts of unmanly folly, till at last the house began to go to pieces. When the occupants saw the house would not hold together much longer, they were alarmed and they all moved out. The house soon sank into the ground, and no wonder, being built nearly under ground it soon rotted away.
So here was I once more without a habitation and a name; the six who had lived with me seemed to have left me to myself. I was ashamed and tired of the life I had lived, and I determined to build no more houses. I said: "Why should I try to build a house, I cannot have it as I wish. If only I could have a straight high roof, and nice wide windows, I believe I could live a better and a purer life. I am sure it would have been different if I had not given up to those whom I know are inferior to me, but I do not see how I can ever build such a house as long as I have those six followers to contend with." And while I was thus cogitating I fell asleep. I have no idea how long I slept; it seemed only a few minutes, but I know now it was a long time. And when I awoke, will you believe me, the first thing I knew I was contemplating building a house. Strange, was itnot? And the next moment I remembered about the high roof, and the wide windows, when, lo and behold, here came my former six companions. They too were just as anxious as I to build and move into a house.
I do not know how it happened, but I found I had gained some wisdom and some new strength. May be it was on account of keeping always before my mind's eye the idea of that straight roof and those two broad windows. The idea had been "a hope" — the hope of a better house. Be that as it may, I certainly had gained something, for when the new house was completed the roof was straighter, the windows were a little broader, and there was a little room at the top of the house furnished in a pleasant, cool grey material. I admit it was not much of a room, and the furniture not much to be proud of, but compared to what I had been accustomed, it was very satisfactory.
Now, as I really had gotten in some small degree the upper hand of those whom I ought to have known all along were very much below me in the social scale, you would think I ought to have kept the upper hand. How surprised you will be when I tell you I still allowed them to allure me from my nice, light and pleasant little upper room — that I still joined them in their folly and sin and went from bad to worse. But it will please you to learn that ever and anon the thoughts would come to me: "Why am I here? Why should I be so foolish as to give way before these low-lived servants? Oh that I could break away from their baneful influence."
But all the time I seemed to understand that I could not so break away from them; that they were tied to me by some mysterious force I could not control. And time went on. The house became old and rickety and began to fall to pieces, so we seven poor misguided mortals moved out.
I do not know how the others felt, but I can say I was heartily ashamed of all my failures. I could recall all my mistakes; I would declare over and over again that I never, never should try to build another house to live in. Then I would fall to thinking, if ever I should build again, how I ought to exert my manhood and have the house so that I could not descend to the lower basement where my servants had their quarters. Then I would go to sleep.
This happened more times than I can tell you. I would move out of a house, look back and see it fall to pieces and sink into the ground. Then I would go over all my life in that house, all my errors, all my mistakes, and think to myself: "If I had only done so and so, and if I had not done this and that." Still one thought and one hope seemed to animate me. That hope which always stood out in bold relief was my hobby of a straight and high roof and nice broad windows, wide apart. With these thoughts I would fall asleep, and sleep I do not know how long. And when I awoke the first thing I knew the building mania seized me, and nothing would do but I must begin to build.
How many times this occurred I do not know, for I lost count long ago, but at last there came a time when I succeeded in getting my heart's desire — a higher house and pretty well up out of the ground. The roof was straighter, the windows broader, and a respectably sized room at the top of the house furnished in that pleasant cool grey material. The furniture also was firmer and more substantial than any I had had heretofore.
Now when I tell you of the dreadful wicked deeds I was guilty of after I had succeeded in having such improvements in my house, you will hardly credit it. Indeed, looking back to that time, not so very long ago, I can scarcely credit it myself. I do not like to tell you about it, only it is right that you should know, so that you may gain knowledge and learn a lesson from my experience. One of the worst mistakes I made and continued to make for a long time was this: I laid the blame of all my mistakes on others. First, I blamed the shape of my house, then I blamed the servants with whom I lived. They had been the masters. You will see at once that I alone was to blame. I had made all the mistakes and continued to make them — all the faults were my faults. You remember I told you, if I could have a house built to my mind, I could and would live a better and a purer life.
You see, I always looked outward and never inward. The thought never struck me that the fault was mine. I know better now. I know if I had been right my servants would have been right, and we being right the house we built would have been perfect. There is an old saying, "Live and Learn," and I had to live a great many times before I learned that.
So the time had come when my servants and I moved into a house very nearly as I had long wished to have it. I suppose it made me proud and selfish to get into such a nice house. Having been so successful I thought, "Now I have really got almost all I have so long desired. I shall show others how powerful I am." I am coining now to the time of my most selfish acts and I dread to tell you about them.
Well, I had heard of a great and powerful king, and being so set up in my own conceit, I formed in my mind the most extravagant and ridiculous ideas in regard to this king. If I had only stopped there, no great harm would have been done. But I did not stop there; I determined to compel all my neighbors to believe all the extravagant and ridiculous notions I had taken into my head. When any of them refused to believe as I wanted them to believe, I tortured and burned them. At least I thought I burned them. I also thought I sent them to a place where they would burn forever and ever.
But you know, and I know now, that I only burned the houses they lived in — I had no power over the occupant of the house. When I set fire to his house, he only moved out, and all he had to do was to wait until he was ready to build another house. Then, if he were stronger than I he would very likely burn my house, if I refused to believe as he believed. That is just the way we did. Whoever were the stronger burned those who were the weaker. (Of course I mean they burned the houses they lived in.)
As it is impossible for every one to believe just the same and also as we were one and all far from the truth, the burnings went on for a long time, as time goes. But at last there came a time when there was no more burning with fire. Burning with fire went out of fashion. But the idea of allowing any one to form his own opinion did not go out with the fires — more the pity.
You will see now, if not before how all the fault was mine. I think the first dawning of the truth came to me when I began to call those "hangers on," propensities. Then by beginning to invite them one at a time, to come up and sit with me in my nice pleasant upper room. There we sat and conversed and compared notes and laid plans for the future. I must admit I did not know how much I was doing for them when I invited them to come up and sit with me. When the knowledge came to me that I must train and educate my propensities, I really had elevated two of them so they could occupy with me that upper room. And I was then living in the house I occupy today.
Now, you understand why I said, "This is the best house I ever lived in." you must not suppose for a moment that I am entirely satisfied with my house, or that there will be no more improvements. Having now the assistance of the two elevated and educated "Hangers on" (I shall call them brothers hereafter) I have succeeded in getting light into my parlor. By this light I have been enabled to look inward, and I have seen where all the fault lies. I have determined to go no more down to that basement where the others, the uneducated ones have their quarters, but I shall bring them up to sit with me and those others who were formerly their companions.
I shall endeavor with all my heart to elevate myself that I may be better fitted to educate and raise them, and as we seven have lived together in a great many houses, before we understood our duty to each other, so we hope to live together in a great many more, and we shall improve in our building until we have a perfect house. Then, we "shall go no more out." We have as a permanent possession, a beautiful picture. We have named it Universal Brotherhood. We shall always keep that. We will take it with us when we move out and bring it back when we return. We are going to hang it on our parlor wall where all the bright Light will fall upon it. We will learn to paint it and copy it, and we will try to have each and all of our neighbors supplied with a copy.
We are not going to bother our neighbors with what we believe or what we do not believe. We are determined to let our light so shine that they may see our good works. We are going to follow the advice of one of our divine Teachers who said: "Little children love one another." We are going to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick, comfort the prisoner. We shall make feasts of truth and knowledge, and go out into the highways and byways and compel the ignorant to come in and partake of Wisdom and Knowledge and Power.