The Letters of H. P. Blavatsky to A. P. Sinnett

Letter No. 56

Mr dear Mr. Sinnett,

Yesterday I sent a letter to Mrs. Sinnett meant for you also — that will explain many a thing. I beg to refute the new accusation — of my having been "the unintentional cause of D. N.'s reluctance" to meet you. I had myself at one time the idea that my remark, a casual one and which was never repeated — that if he went on before you using his arms a la Napolitaine and like a wind mill, you would feel very shocked — had something to do with his extraordinary reluctance, but I have dropped the idea since. The ease with which all those ladies and gentlemen (chelas included) in cases they are unwilling, or forbidden, or simply unable to explain — solve the difficulty by corking it with my much ill-used self, is simply delightful. Now in this case it can be proved in two lines. When I had passed the above remark — there was no Miss Arundale or Mohini on the horizon yet to carry Babajee away. My remark had so little impressed him, that had these two never come, he would have quietly stopped at Wurzburg and met you. But you had to be given some explanation, and the L.L. fellows had to be offered one — earlier as to his extraordinary reluctance — what easier than to stop the hole through which the truth leaked by using me as a plug. I say again — my remark was perhaps 5 per cent; another remark at Paris of which I knew through somebody else and he confessed, another 5 per cent — total 10 p.c. and the 90 parts of the mystery are still in his pocket; and if Mohini may suspect — Miss A. on the other hand has not the slightest conception of it. I show Dharbagiri my letter, let him decide and say whether it is so, or not.

Yes — I had so many visitors, had to talk so much, got so tired out and completely exhausted that the result was — a doctor needed at 11 o'clock at night, yesterday. Such palpitations and cramps in the heart that I thought they were the last! I am now ordered to hold my tongue, hence I have more time to hold my pen — sans vil calembourg.

I shall try to make the annotations but it makes me sick to touch the woman's pamphlet.

Love to all — Mrs. Sinnett representing the sum total with yourself and Dennie.

I manage to-day to send you 20 f. or £1. 10 francs of what I owe you from Tedesco and the rest for things I want — or one thing rather — "Five years of Theosophy," something proposed by Mrs. L. C. H. for the benefit of the Society, made up by her and Mohini, published and copyrighted by herself; and now if "the Society" needs it it can either whistle, or do as I do — pay for it, i.e. pay for what was taken bodily from my own journal and is composed of a number of my own articles! Lovely. Please send me a copy of it. Mohini won't — forgetting all I ask him to do.

Of course got the £3. 16. 0. — but also got unexpectedly £40 from Adyar for two months and another £20 for a third month. So that now we are square. I have no claim on them — except for the future — and about the matter of the Theosophist. I do not care to have my name paraded — I rather it would be Subba Row's if a name at all. But if I see on the cover Oakley's name replacing mine — I shall kick, and hard — you may bet.

Hubbe Schleiden here; stopped for a week longer to Hartmann's great disgust — and told him of it only when the other had to catch the train. He is a dear man; good, spiritual, nice all round, morally and mentally. He sends his regards.

H. P. B.

Theosophical University Press Online Edition