Secret and Private.
Dear Mr. Sinnett,
I have humbled and brought him down — send you his letter to read and keep for me. He knows well that only through my efforts and prayers can he be forgiven by MY MASTER who will influence and ask Mahatma K. H. to forgive him what he has done four years ago and what he has done now. He is cured I believe. It cost me a terrible effort to health, my conscience and a new record on my Karma but I have saved the Society. No matter, let me suffer torture and die a slow death — let only the T.S. be saved and Their names glorified later on, if not now. The little wretch would commit suicide if I were not to forgive him. He is really devoted to Masters and in terrible fear of Them now. And really I believe it was a remnant on him of his grandmother's sorcery that comes occasionally upon him. Poor fellow. I now pity him, it is so hard to be on probation. The temptations are so terrible! But I beg of you to keep his secret — not to let him know that you are aware he is not the one that came to you the first time. Not to say one word if you would not raise the devil in him once more. Let us keep this letter of his as a threat never to be used I hope against the poor boy. You understand now why he so avoided you, was in such dread of meeting you. Please call Mohini and take his word of honour not to let Bowaji know that I sent you his letter. Let him read it, and ponder over. Too much adulation have spoiled both.
And my pitching into both as a contrast between me and the veneration of others has made D. N. hate me. But now he repents, I think sincerely, let us drop it, for even he may be very useful to the poor Society in its present troubles. But for all of you theosophists, it must be a new proof that though the Masters cannot interfere with regular Karma, They can and will interfere always at the last and supreme danger, and it was the greatest of all — on account of the personal influence of the boy as a supposed, personal, accepted, and regular chela of the Masters. In this I am not to be blamed. I only carried out the orders of silence and had he behaved discreetly he would be by this time a real regular chela, though certainly not as much so as the real Dharb. Nath.
H. P. B.
with a lighter heart.
I still adhere to my first idea that he must be prevented from coming to London.